Top Ten Reasons Why Hubpages Sucks

Background: I've created a few hubs, I've got my hubscore up. I've participated a bit in the forums, and now it's time to even the (hub)score!

O, listen to my plea, Hubpages king,

To you wise words do I bring,

Hubpages does royally suck,

Hubbers revere Google's buck,

And merrily this do I sing!

Reason One:

Hubpages claim that they only want original, genuine, quality content. They score your hubs, and you as an author, to try to keep out spammy hubs. But, almost all the hubs, "good" and "bad", are monetized via Adsense. So what does this tell you? Hubpages is one GIANT "Made For Adsense" site and Google should be notified immediately!

Reason Two:

Hubpages only updates your score every 15 minutes. Why? It means I waste 56 minutes per hour, refreshing my score to see if I'm going up or down. There I am, looking like a muppet, hitting refresh every minute and fourteen out of fifteen times I'm left disappointed. I tell you, it leads to RAGE! Hubpages, get it right and update our scores every second!

Reason Three:

Hubpages recommends about 2,500 words of original content on your <strike>lens</strike> hub, which is just crazy! My English teacher didn't make me do 2,500 words per essay in High School! I'm telling you, my ghostwriter is complaining of RSA. She's only used to doing 400 words per article, not 2,500. It's costing me a fortune asking for essays instead of articles!

Reason Four:

Hubpages recommends there should be about 3 videos per hub... well that's just great. I'll go and get my Handycam out of storage just to shoot some silly movie because Hubpages wants them in my hub. What's that you say? I could use YouTube or Google Video? LOL. Have you seen the quality of videos on those sites? My grandma can do better with her betamax.

Reason Five:

Hubpages suck because they "grade" your work. What is this, school? I mean, in the time it takes <strike>my ghostwriter</strike> me to write three or more quality hubs, to get to the "pass grade", I could whip up 300 lenses, or make 3,000 tweets!

Reason Six:

The people who make hubs are FRAUDS. That's right. They want you to think that they're "unsung literary geniuses" and are using hubs to "express themselves". BUT, when you check out the forums, they're all asking how much MONEY each other's making with their hubs. Why? Because hubpages is one GIANT "Made For Adsense" site, and the authors are just trying to earn "Google bucks"!

Reason Seven:

Who the heck has time to read 2,500 words, watch three videos, look at some photos, check out some "quality" links and read some RSS headlines? It's too much, I tell you! Hubpages, make hubs 25-words and a picture, maximum, OK?

Reason Eight:

What do I write here to pad-out my "essay" to 2,500-words? Oh yes, I want to know why hubpages called themselves hubpages.com instead of just "hubs.com". We, the toiling workers, build specialised webpages called "hubs", so why not just call the site hubs.com? Couldn't you afford hubs.com? Ha.

Reason Nine:

All the hubs are about "which is better, squidoo or hubpages", or "how do I get a better hubpages score", or "how to make Google love my hub". I'll tell ya in one word... WORDPRESS. Stop being lazy. Set up a blog. Then you don't have to worry if a hub is better than a lens... and you get to keep all the Adsense coin!

Reason Ten:

Speaking of Adsense coin, how is it that Hubpages nicks 60% of your hubs Adsense revenue? I mean, did they slave away at the keyboard typing this diatribe? I don't think so. It takes massive skillz and intimate knowledge of how to craft hyperbole to write a top ten list. I didn't just slap keys and watch this hub happen, I can tell you. So! Hubpages! I want 90% of the Adsense clicks, or I'm the first official hub on strike! (see picture, below!)

Reason Eleven:

OK, I'm on a roll! Here's reason eleven: I actually saw the word "HubLove" on an official hubpage. Seriously. Ewww!

Reason Twelve:

Woo, hoo. A "round" dozen. I don't want to meet any "Thai Beauties", "Sexy Singles", "Single Arab Women" or "Pakistani Girls". Sheesh. And, yes, I'm aware that Googlebot wil now surround this hub with ads for those keywords. Grrr.

OK, that's it. Let me know... did I miss anything? :p